I think most of us have heard of The Five Love Languages, a book written by Gary Chapman several years ago. He presented the concept that people give and receive love in five different ways, or “languages”. They are Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch.
But did you know there’s a sister book written specifically for parents?
In my mom’s group at church, we’re studying The Five Love Languages of Children, and I can’t tell you how it has revolutionized the way I parent.
The premise of the book revolves around this quote: “You may truly love your child, but unless she feels it–unless you speak the love language that communicates to her your love–she will not feel loved.”
In the course of this study, I’ve determined that my son’s love language is quality time. He’s constantly asking me to play with him, and it seems like I can never give him enough of the time he craves.
Is anyone seeing the conflict here? As a stay-at-home writer-mom, I can’t always give him 100% attention (nor do I think it’s healthy for a child to expect 100% attention).
But one quote from the book made me realize that often I was depriving him of what he needed. “When a child’s love tank is empty and attention is the only thing that will fill it, that child will go to almost any length to get what she needs.”
Um, yeah, can we say this often comes out in the form of temper tantrums and disobedience in my house?
Reading that one chapter turned the light bulb on for me. And I learned practical ways I can fill my son’s love tank while still getting my work done. I’m a work in progress, but I’m getting there.
This is just the tip of what I’ve learned in this book. I can’t begin to say how valuable it is. There’s also a chapter about how to discover your child’s primary love language, as well as one about discipline and how it can be shaped by knowing your child’s love language.
If you haven’t checked out this book, I highly recommend it!
Have you read any of the Love Languages books? Do you know what your love language is? How about your kids’?